Commitment in the Age of Casual Connections Requires Toughness
I think one of the worst things that could ever happen to kids happened during my childhood. During my generation, parents got this idea into their heads that they should make their kids’ lives as easy as possible.
Now, on paper, this makes a lot of sense. I mean, which parent would not want their kids to be comfortable? Which parent would want to see their kids suffer and stumble through life? Which parent would like their kids to live in a world that is full of strife, competition, and dog-eat-dog chaos?
It’s easy to see where the sentiment comes form. Unfortunately, when parents put rubber padding in the complete world of their children, they end up raising unprepared adults.
I’m telling you, the world out there is not a pretty world. There are a lot of bad people out there. There are a lot of people who would betray you. There are a lot of people who lie consistently. There are a lot of people who have it in them to hurt you at each and every turn.
It’s a messed up world. It’s fallen. It’s degraded. It’s an embarrassment. It’s a tragedy. In other words, it’s just like us. The world would not be fallen if the people living in it is not as fallen. DO you see how this works?
Unfortunately, when parents make things as easy as possible for their kids by giving them everything that they need, they do not prepare them for this world. The moment the kid gets out there as an adult, they get crushed and they begin to think that life is messed up.
They begin to think that since life is not fair, then there’s something wrong. They become bitter, disappointed, and petty. It’s a mess. Instead of this chaotic world getting better, things get worse and worse. It’s a downward spiral. That’s what it is.
It really all boils down to the willingness of people to become courageous. I know, you’ve probably heard that concept before. In fact, you only need to watch a typical Hollywood animated movie and you’d see all the reminders of courage.
In terms of cultural symbology, there is no shortage of encouragement regarding courage. However, the problem is that courage, in terms of a social virtue or value in the United States and Western Europe, is really very shallow. It’s like a nice little symbol.
We’re supposed to be courageous, compassionate, loving, and empathetic. Okay, great. That’s the list of things that we should be doing. Guess what? People are not going the things that they should be doing.
You know what they do? They do the things that they feel they must do. In other words, they do the things that they feel defines them. That’s why it’s really important to understand that overcoming challenges must define you.
That’s how you develop courage. Courage is not imagining the world to be something that it isn’t. That’s delusion and insanity. That’s not courage. The truth is, you need to be tough to be courageous. You have to make hard choices.
When you do that, you’d be prepared for how the world works. You’d probably be less likely to be betrayed, or betray people who have grown to trust you. That’s the bottom line.
This leads me to commitment. In this world, it’s very easy to commit since you’re just looking for a casual connection. However, the moment things get tough, you leave and you disconnect because it’s too much for you.
You need to have courage because there is a light at the end of the tunnel. If you stick with somebody and you challenge that person to be the best man/woman he/she can be, you end up being pushed to your limit as well and you grow up as a person. This requires toughness because it’s so easy to just find another partner.
This is why commitment in this day and age requires internal toughness. It requires conviction and courage. Thankfully, you can have these. You only need to reach deep inside you and claim it.